Month: October 2014

Categories
Alienation

I AM THE ALIENATOR

Taken from the Karen Woodall site http://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/2014/10/25/i-am-the-alienator/

I am an alienator. You know me well. You lived with me once and you witnessed my behaviour patterns but you did not spend time studying and internalising them. I know your behaviour patterns better than you know them yourself. I know how to measure you, test you and control you. I know what your hooks are and I know that the depth of the love for your children is a weakness I can exploit. I am an emotional terrorist. I will terrify you into submission. You will do as I tell you to do, if you do not, I will take your children away.

I am an alienator, you didn’t notice that when we lived together but I began my work long before we went our separate ways. I created fissures and fractures within our family and I managed and manipulated reality, though for a long time you did not notice that.

I am an alienator, at times in the past you felt a chill wind blow through you when my moods changed as I raged and then sweet talked you to smooth the ripples in your growing awareness. My mind is distorted but the projection of shadows causes you to believe it is yours which has failed you. Eventually you came to believe that it was you and not I who was crazy. You shivered as I turned down the gas light.

When you appeal to the outside world for assistance I will turn my most charming face to the sun and open my arms wide and beseech them to believe that I only want the best for my children. I will widen my eyes and up turn my palms and say ‘what can I do when they don’t want to see you’ and suck into my airspace all those who attempt to bring change to the lives of the weapons I know I can use.

My children are assets, collatoral, extensions of plans that I make to wreak my revenge upon people who challenge my views or attempt to remove the control that I have in my life.

My children are satellites orbiting sunshine coming only from me – you could never compete with the warmth that I wind around each of their hearts so that only my love is enough; making yours surplus, not needed, discarded like clothes that you bought and I won’t let them wear.

I am all that they need.

You are not.

When our love ended my rage recruited our children to a campaign of revenge that joins us together against you.

In my mind your betrayal awakened the traumas of people long dead and ignited the fuse that lead to the bomb that blew up our lives. Now, the souls of our children are hostage to wrongs which come howling from hell and you are helpless to hold back the tide which will sweep you and they to the death that is living with losing your children whilst they are still breathing. Your loss not mine which you and not I will have to survive.

Sometimes you mirror me, two perfect projections that weave webs of destruction that sever our children in two, one side light, one side dark, you there in the shadows.

But mostly it is because I cannot see my behaviours, I am blind to the sight of myself in the mirror. The only reflection I need is the love of my children to feed me and give me a sense of my self which I lost even before I was born.

I am the alienator, annihalator, terminator. My aim is to end by fair means or foul, your place in the hearts and the lives of your children.

I am easily spotted by those who know me but invisible to those who do not. You will spend your time, your energy and money telling them I am behind this whilst I smile and continue to shred the trust our children once held in you. I am an alienator even when I do not know it and the failure to see the shadows I cast in the projections I throw onto you, is the fault of a system so blinded by bias it is frozen like the minds of our children, the children being harmed right under the noses of those who should know how to help them but sadly, do not.

In the plain sight of you and of them, the lives of the children you love are stolen, erased and extinguished.

And your anguish and pain are the gifts that I treasure.

And your suffering compensates for the things I perceive you to have done.

And whilst chaos reigns and the system colludes with my delusions, the power I seek remains mine.

Along with the children.

Whose eyes are wide open but able to see nothing at all.

Categories
Alienation

Degradations of parental alienation

Excellent post from http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/high-level-brainwashers/

There are degradations of parental alienation. The most severe type is perpetrated by High Level Brainwashers (HLBs).

These parents are ruthless in their efforts to eliminate their ex from the child’s life. They spend decades spinning tales of woe of what the ex did, labeling the ex every derogatory name imaginable, and doing everything possible to deny an ex physical access to “their” child.

Below is a list of the dominant characteristics and behaviors of HLBs:

  • They dwell on the sins of the past. They simply cannot forgive any past grievances and ‘move on.’
  • They are revenge-minded. They will commonly say things like, “I don’t get mad, I get even,” or “You’ll pay for this.” They have anger and aggression issues
  • They are deeply unhappy people. Overall happy and positive people don’t dwell on negatives or allow past wrongs to weigh them down
  • They have one or more psychological disorders. Bipolar, Munchausen by Proxy, or anxiety disorders
  • They are frequently on medications like antidepressants to stabilize their negative moods
  • They were abused or neglected as as children. The roots of an HLB’s bulldozing ways goes back to a dysfunctional childhood
  • They are extremely selfish people. They are bad listeners, first and foremost. They are capable of completely disregarding the welfare of the child if it suits their own needs
  • They view child as a possession. Ownership of and control of the child. They will micromanage the child’s life in the extreme
  • They abuse the child on other levels. HLBs frequently physically and/or sexually abuse children as well. In short, they have no boundaries.

There is one final trait of the truly worst HLBs, and that’s the narcissistic parent. I didn’t include it in the list because only a sliver of the high level brainwashers are narcissistic. And these parents are the absolute worst abusers, and are true evil-doers at their core. They all lack a conscience. Read this article on the narcissistic parent.

HLBs are professionals at wrecking parent-child relationships. They are masters at turning their perceived victimhood into manipulative lies intent on destroying their own child’s love for the other parent. This mental child abuse that causes lasting scars, even when the child does one day realize the fraud and lies perpetrated onto them. 

Categories
Alienation

How To Play The Narcissist’s Game

An Upturned Soul

*I’m adding a disclaimer of sorts to this post due to a few people who seem to think that I’m claiming to be an expert. When I use the word – expert – to refer to myself, I’m being sardonic towards myself. I use humour to deal with my pain. I am not an expert, I simply grew up with parents who are narcissists, who made my life a confusing hellish nightmare.

I’m sorry if I did not make it clear enough in my words, I thought I had.

This is a personal blog (by a real person and human being) where I share some of my experiences and thoughts. This is one of the ways I have chosen to sort through my own issues.

When I wrote this post I did not expect anyone to read it, posting it publicly was a challenge to myself to break through the…

View original post 3,200 more words

Categories
Parental Alienation PA

Teaching a child to despise his or her own parent

John T. Steinbeck is a parental alienation consultant. He and his son’s relationship was under attack in a deplorable campaign of parental alienation.read more

http://www.brainwashingchildren.com/teaching-a-child-to-despise-parent/

Continue reading “Teaching a child to despise his or her own parent”
Categories
Alienation

French Protest Saint-Michel in Paris “We demand an end to the family profiteering on the backs of our children.”

New Fathers 4 Justice - Superhero Dads

Press release of October 25, 2014

Parents moved Place Saint-Michel in the 6th arrondissement of Paris to denounce the practices of family business which too often do not meet the right of children of separated parents to be raised and educated by each of their two parents.

At this time place Saint-Michel in Paris At this time place Saint-Michel in Paris

The current operating mode of justice is inadequate to the field of family.This family justice operates on an adversarial mode that creates and aggravates the conflicts in which children are always the first victims.

Decisions stereotypical family judges are too often
discriminate against fathers and do not respect the principle of equal both parents before the law.

This is primarily the parents have the responsibility to define what suits their children and not to a third party to decide arbitrarily when it has neither means nor the time to know the reality of the family.

In case of disagreement, using a mediator should…

View original post 170 more words

Categories
Alienation

“narcissism; “sociopath” and “psychopath”

The words “narcissism; “sociopath” and “psychopath” are thrown around on television daily in describing those responsible for heinous acts of school shootings, murder, rape and child abuse. ‘Narcissist” is currently one of the most searched words on the World Wide Web. Meanwhile, the field of Psychology wants to eliminate “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” from its references.

http://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwbooks/article/SOCIALCIDE-Exposes-How-the-Nation-is-Loving-Themselves-to-Death-20141024

Continue reading ““narcissism; “sociopath” and “psychopath””
Categories
Alienation

Bob Geldof attacks family court over treatment of Peaches and Fifi: Says rulings made it impossible to take care of his children | Daily Mail Online

HOPE – #PAS

love and respect

The factor most dominant in PAS is the intent of the resident parent to cut off communications between the children and the non-resident parent (nrp).

In the past this has been fairly easy. Letters and gifts could be removed before the child sees them, and phone calls could be blocked or monitored. Schools and places where the children go could be informed to stop the absent parent visiting.

With the advances of technology these barriers can be bypassed to a large extent. A child with a mobile phone only needs to know the number of the absent parent to contact them directly without the knowledge of the nrp. Furthermore, many nrp’s will themselves have more than one phone number, a website, and various ways of being contacted indirectly through work, relatives, and friends who also have these facilities.

There have already been cases of children looking for their fathers via the Internet, and at least one child set up his own website specifically for this purpose. The non-resident parents who use these advances to keep lines of communications open have a considerable resource.

http://www.parentalalienation.org.uk/

Categories
Parental Alienation PA

THINGS YOU CAN DEAL WITH NOW #PAS

  • Work to a plan.
  • Keep a diary.
  • Sort out all the correspondence related to your case, and take copies of everything.
  • Use the copies to highlight all the key points that you may have to refer to later.
  • List all the people who are in touch with your ex-partner, your children, and other key people in the case.
  • List all the people who are willing to support you if needed.
  • List all the places where you can make more suitable contacts, such as schools, clubs, parks, and appropriate locations.
  • Find out what events are going on at schools and such places that you might attend and see your children.
  • Check if you can participate in local events that will bring you in contact with other parents or key people who might help you.
  • Check for ways that get publicity that could be seen by your ex or children, or those close to them.
  • Check if you can become a school governor, helper, coach, or in any way a participant in events that involve your children.
  • If you ex is part of a group: religious, cultural, educational, etc. see if you can join the group or get to know those associated with her.
  • Check out events such as birthdays, holidays, festivities, etc that give excuses for you to contact your ex or children directly or via relatives and close friends.
  • Check out the parents of the children who are in your child’s class and see if you can contact them. They might well know your child via their children.
  • Chance plays a big part in life. It is possible that there are other fathers in your situation who have children at the same school. If so, they may have information that is useful to you.
  • Cultivate and practice your fathering skills at all times. Ask others about their children, and try to help out. It may make you sad at first, but any children that relate to you will eventually give you satisfaction and help you through this period. There are very many children in need of fathers.
  • Keep up with your children’s interests. If they like computer games, then try to learn a bit about them.
  • Work out your Family Tree. If allowed to, then send it to your children or someone close to them. If possible, set up a website about yourself and your side of the family. If possible, make this information available to your children.
  • If you see articles or letters in papers and magazines about similar cases to your own, reply to them. Also see if there are journalists who might cover your case.
  • If possible, send material to the friends and relatives of your ex-partner. They may well be sympathetic to you if you don’t impost on them.
  • If you are in a position to, offer work-experience to students in the school where your child goes.
  • Check out the school and find out exactly what information you are entitled to. It might be more than you are voluntarily given.
  • Find out who the school governors are, and how they can help you.
  • Find out about your ex’s neighbours, and see if there is any way to link up with them.
  • If possible, set up a child’s bank account (Building societies sometimes do this), and start putting money it. Make sure your child knows about it. When the child is old enough you can give them the bankbook. If the child is a minor then it will be a joint account. When your child is no longer a minor you can still keep it as a joint account.
  • Buy Premium Bonds, or the occasional lottery ticket for your child. If it comes up you will have a good reason to contact them.
  • If you can, make a video of yourself and your family. Get some close to you to send it to your child. Use a festive occasion as an excuse to do so.

In all, the approach is always to be doing something so that you are never in a situation of feeling helpless. With determination you will find that there are many opportunities to further your situation, and more will turn up as you think about it in a logical way. Overcoming the feeling of helplessness is essential to dealing with the problem.

http://www.parentalalienation.org.uk/

WILL YOU LOSE YOUR CHILDREN?

If you can retain some form of contact then it is unlikely, but it some cases it could be years before you see them again. From a survey taken on this, children usually start coming back to the father in early teenage years. There are several reasons for this.

a.    They grow independent of the mother.

b.   They want money.

c.    They find they can control the mother with threats of seeing the father.

d.   They have a natural curiosity and emotional need to know their father.

e.    The father offers an alternative lifestyle that may well be inherent in the child.

It has been said that ‘The best revenge is to be happy’. This will show that all the mother’s machinations will have failed. The FNF survey on PAS produced well over 700 replies. The most common answer to the question ‘Do you have any suggestions on overcoming PAS?’ got the answer “Stay with it, and do not abandon your children”.

The easiest way to deal with any problem is to divide it into parts.

Separate the parts you into three categories:

1.     Those you can deal with right away.

2.     Those you can deal with when the time comes

3.     Those you can’t deal with now, and have to be sorted out later, perhaps with expert help.

http://www.parentalalienation.org.uk/