From A long term Alienated Parent and Colleague

It seems completely ridiculous to try and understand Parental Alienation starting when the marriage breaks up. To do this is to look BACKWARDS in Time. By doing things Backwards, many people say it is Counter-Intuitive. DUH Stop trying to go backwards in Time.If you look at, or try to understand Parental Alienation from a separation or divorce, you are looking BACKWARDS IN TIME and the phenomenon appears COUNTER-INTUITIVE.With Severe Alienation, certainly, it begins BEFORE there are any Children, BEFORE there is a Relationship between the Parents.You are only looking at PA where it becomes obvious to any onlooker.A Cluster B Personality Disordered Person will Target an Empath or similar type of giving person.People DON’T suddenly develop a Cluster B PD at separation, it is caused by Trauma in the Alienating Parent’s Early Life. They ALREADY HAVE the Cluster B Personality Disorder. Such people have long since been able to mimic a friendly character and as they lack empathy, and have no boundaries that the rest of us take for granted.The First thing they do, having found an Empathetic person is to find out in conversation what the Target’s IDEAL PARTNER is like.The Cluster B person (NOT just a Narcissist, that misses 3/4 of their disordered personalities. They may have Narcissism or Borderline or Histrionic predominant.)Having found this out they PROJECT THEMSELVES onto the Target as their Ideal Partner, so the Target believes they are falling in love with their Ideal Partner. IT IS ALL LIES, but the empathetic Target believes it. This is NOT LOVE but TRAUMA BONDING.https://www.abuseandrelationships.org/…/trauma_bonding… The Web of Lies and Deceit woven by the Cluster B person is slowly seen through by the Target.Cluster B people want children so they can have a Relationship they can control, but they lack Boundaries so they see children as part of themselves, NOT an individual. This is known as PATHOGENIC ENMESHMENT and occurs from when the child is born. They also see children as Chattels which they own.The marriage breaks down when EITHER;1. The Target realises the person they are married to is Not who they purported to beOR2. The Cluster B person has taken all they think they will get from this person, or meets someone else who they see as offering more.Don’t forget these Cluster B people have NO BOUNDARIES so they will think NOTHING of being UNFAITHFUL.When one person breaks the marriage up, then their behaviour is seen by Family Court, by which time they have beaten the Target Parent Psychologically to a pulp, seek to cut the Target Parent out of the lives of the children which they see as part of them, so inflict the divorce on the children.

Laurence Norwin Allen has been an alienated parent even longer than me and has joined me in creating various support and information groups on FB. We were amongst the few who dared to put our heads above the parapet many years ago and bring PA out into the open and create a space where people could speak out and share their knowledge and stories.

Thankyou Laurence for letting me share this article. You can read more of Laurences work here.

You will find them here. https://otleycollege.academia.edu/LaurenceNorwinAllen

Linda

https://www.facebook.com/groups/874933366462633