Why does a coercive controller do it? A very secure Attachment

Responding to the conversation on cults and parental abduction and alienation, a UK parent has summarised her own story of being Alienated from her daughter. Starting the Alienation long before separating from her, her husband kept his daughter close. She was ‘his blood’.

What makes this guest blog story so unusual is how much of her ex-husband’s tragic early life is known that completes the picture. Often past painful trauma is buried deeply away from everyone. Usually we only see a disturbed person/ality; all we can do is pin nasty personality disorder labels on them.

Here we get a full – sympathetic even – emotional understanding of the Alienating parent, of one kind of various Attachment traumas that can shape up a parent to control and Alienate a child. (Names and details have been changed).

We can see clearly why this coercive controller does it: He gets a very secure Attachment in a relationship that takes his daughter in and cuts her off.  But of course this is a disturbed and disturbing solution to the controller’s problems. And it is positively harmful to his entrapped if happy looking child.

Alienation can take a life-time



Author: Linda Turner

Coaching and Therapy Currently studying Psychotherapy , Cognitive psychology, Hypnotherapy. Qualified NLP, EMDR and CBT therapist. REIKI Master. I believe in truth, honesty and integrity! ≧◔◡◔≦

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