Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

In his scholarly work Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Dr. Richard Warshak eloquently listed the areas like “corrupting reality,” which the NPA is especially renowned: “. . . To intervene effectively in a campaign of denigration, we must understand exactly how the child’s view of reality is being manipulated. Below is a summary of some of the most common strategies for distorting the child’s perceptions, beliefs, and memories of the target” (Warshak, 2001, pp. 202–203).

  • Manipulating names to disrupt children’s identification with the target
  • Repeating false ideas until: they are assumed to be true and are embedded in memory
  • Selectively directing the children’s attention to negative aspects of the target while ignoring positive aspects
    Dropping the context of a target’s behavior
    Exaggerating the target’s negative behaviour
  • Telling lies about the target
  • Revising history to erase positive memories of the target
    Claiming that the target has totally changed 
  • Suggestions that convey in a covert manner negative messages about the target
    Encouraging the children to exploit: the target
  • Projection of the brainwasher’s own thoughts, feelings, or behavior onto  the target
  • Rationalizations that hide the perpetrator’s real motives and make the target look bad
  • Self-righteous tones intended to ward off careful scrutiny of the program- mer’s reality distortions
    Denunciations cloaked in religious dogma
    Associating the label “the truth” with the programmer’s implanted scenarios
  • Overindulging the children with excessive privileges, material possessions, and low expectations for responsible behavior to buy their allegiance
  • Encroaching on the children’s time with the target and sabotaging their enjoyment of special activities
    Instructing children to keep secrets from, spy on, and lie to the target
    Conspiring with others to reinforce the programming
  • Programming the children to resist attempts to undo their indoctrination

Author: Linda Turner

Coaching and Therapy Currently studying Psychotherapy , Cognitive psychology, Hypnotherapy. Qualified NLP, EMDR and CBT therapist. REIKI Master. I believe in truth, honesty and integrity! ≧◔◡◔≦

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