Forgetting is not possible

As Julia Hogan, LPC, told me, “it’s impossible to truly forget a wrong that has been committed against you. It happened. It happened to you, and you experienced how hurtful it was. That is something that is impossible to erase from your memory. Nor would it be fair to you to ask you to forget that the wrong happened despite the harm that you’ve suffered. You are allowed to acknowledge the hurt that you’ve suffered and it is often beneficial for someone to say, ‘Yes, I’ve been wronged by someone.’”

The thing is, if someone tries to forgive and forget, it’s possible they haven’t really forgiven, because by the quick act of “forgetting,” they haven’t fully processed the wrong they’ve been done. And acknowledging the wrong is essential to real forgiveness.

The leading researchers on forgiveness, Drs. Robert Enright and Richard Fitzgibbons, describe forgiveness as “people, upon rationally determining that they have been unfairly treated, forgive when they willfully abandon resentment and related responses (to which they have a right), and endeavor to respond to the wrongdoer based on the moral principle of beneficence which may include compassion, unconditional worth, generosity, and moral love (to which the wrongdoer, by nature of the hurtful act or acts, has no right).”

Author: Linda Turner

Coaching and Therapy Currently studying Psychotherapy , Cognitive psychology, Hypnotherapy. Qualified NLP, EMDR and CBT therapist. REIKI Master. I believe in truth, honesty and integrity! ≧◔◡◔≦

Leave a Reply, All comments will be moderated - Many thanks for your contribution

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: