Brainwashing - Mind Control Coercive Control coercive control Dysfunctional Children EMOTIONAL ABUSE Hostile Aggressive Parenting

Family Silence and Secrets

Silence and secrets can be common in dysfunctional families, and can contribute to a variety of negative outcomes, including feelings of isolation, mistrust, and shame. Some common reasons why families may keep secrets or maintain silence include:

  1. Fear of judgment: Family members may be afraid of being judged or criticized by others, and may keep secrets to avoid negative reactions.
  2. Fear of conflict: Silence may be used as a way to avoid conflict or confrontation, or to maintain a sense of false harmony within the family.
  3. Shame and embarrassment: Secrets may be kept to avoid feelings of shame or embarrassment, particularly around sensitive topics such as addiction, mental illness, or abuse.
  4. Loyalty and protection: Family members may keep secrets to protect each other or maintain a sense of loyalty, even when doing so is not in their own best interests.

Breaking the cycle of silence and secrets in dysfunctional families can be a difficult process, but it is possible. It may require opening up lines of communication, seeking professional help, and practicing empathy and understanding towards each other. Some strategies for breaking the cycle may include setting clear boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in terms of communication, practicing active listening and honest expression of thoughts and feelings, and working together to address underlying issues and conflicts. It’s important for family members to remember that breaking the cycle of silence and secrets can be a gradual process, and may require patience and persistence.

 © Linda C J Turner

Dysfunctional Children

Communication in dysfunctional families

Communication in dysfunctional families can be characterized by a number of negative patterns and behaviors, including:

  1. Lack of communication: In dysfunctional families, members may avoid communication altogether, or may only communicate when absolutely necessary.
  2. Poor communication: When communication does occur, it may be characterized by criticism, defensiveness, or negativity. Members may interrupt or talk over each other, and may struggle to listen to and understand each other.
  3. Avoidance of conflict: Dysfunctional families may avoid conflict altogether, or may engage in passive-aggressive behaviors instead of addressing conflicts directly.
  4. Secrecy and lying: In some dysfunctional families, secrecy and lying may be common, with members hiding their thoughts, feelings, or actions from each other.
  5. Triangulation: In dysfunctional families, members may involve third parties in communication or conflicts, creating additional stress and complexity.
  6. Blame and criticism: Dysfunctional families may be characterized by a tendency to blame and criticize each other, rather than taking responsibility for their own actions and behaviors.

Improving communication in dysfunctional families can be a challenging process, but it is possible. Family members may benefit from seeking the help of a mental health professional to learn new communication skills and strategies, and to work through underlying issues and conflicts. Some strategies for improving communication may include active listening, setting clear boundaries, and practicing empathy and understanding.

 © Linda C J Turner

Dysfunctional Children EMOTIONAL ABUSE Q & A with #LindaCJTurner

Q & A – Are dysfunctional families affected by mental illness?

Dysfunctional families can be affected by a variety of challenges, including mental illness and trauma from tragedy. These challenges can have a profound impact on the family system and the well-being of its members.

Mental illness, such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or personality disorders, can create significant stress and disruption within a family. Family members may struggle to understand the behaviors of the mentally ill individual, and may feel helpless or overwhelmed in the face of their loved one’s suffering. Additionally, the stigma surrounding mental illness can make it difficult for families to seek help or support.

Trauma from tragedy, such as the death of a family member, a natural disaster, or an act of violence, can also have a significant impact on the functioning of a family. Family members may struggle to cope with the aftermath of the event, and may experience feelings of grief, anger, or confusion. The trauma can also create long-lasting effects, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or ongoing anxiety.

In dysfunctional families, mental illness or trauma from tragedy can exacerbate existing patterns of dysfunction, such as poor communication, neglect, or abuse. However, it’s important to note that not all dysfunctional families are affected by mental illness or trauma. Dysfunctional family patterns can develop for a variety of reasons, including a lack of healthy boundaries, unaddressed conflict, or generational patterns of dysfunction.

Regardless of the cause, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be an important step in addressing dysfunctional family dynamics and promoting healing and growth within the family system.

 © Linda C J Turner

coercive control NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissistic Conversation Control

Narcissistic individuals who are also sadistic may use a variety of conversation control tactics to manipulate and control others. Some common tactics include:

  1. Gaslighting: A tactic in which the narcissist denies or distorts the reality of a situation, causing the victim to doubt their own perceptions and memory.
  2. Projection: A tactic in which the narcissist attributes their own negative qualities or behaviors to the victim.
  3. Blaming: A tactic in which the narcissist assigns blame to the victim for their own negative emotions or behavior.
  4. Invalidating: A tactic in which the narcissist dismisses or invalidates the feelings, opinions, or experiences of the victim.
  5. Triangulation: A tactic in which the narcissist involves a third party in the conversation or situation, often to create conflict or exert control.
  6. Intimidation: A tactic in which the narcissist uses threats or fear to control the victim.
  7. Devaluing: A tactic in which the narcissist undermines the victim’s self-worth, often through criticism or belittling comments.
  8. Love-bombing: A tactic in which the narcissist uses excessive flattery or attention to gain the victim’s trust or manipulate their emotions.

These tactics can be used in various combinations and may be difficult to detect, as narcissistic individuals can be highly skilled at masking their true intentions. It’s important for individuals who are dealing with narcissistic abuse to seek help and support from a mental health professional, as well as to set clear boundaries and practice self-care to protect their emotional well-being.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE Hostile Aggressive Parenting

Hostile Aggressive Parenting

Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting are serious issues that can have long-lasting negative effects on children and their relationships with their parents. Both refer to situations where one parent engages in behaviors that undermine the child’s relationship with the other parent.

Parental alienation is the process of one parent turning a child against the other parent through various manipulative tactics, such as speaking negatively about the other parent or making false accusations. This can lead to the child having a distorted view of the targeted parent, and may result in the child rejecting the parent altogether.

Hostile aggressive parenting is similar to parental alienation, but may involve more overt acts of aggression or hostility towards the other parent. This can include behaviors such as withholding visitation, denying phone or email contact, or using the child as a pawn in a custody battle.

Awareness of these issues is important because they can have serious consequences for children and families. Children who are subjected to parental alienation or hostile aggressive parenting may experience emotional and psychological distress, and may struggle with issues such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

It’s important for parents, family members, and professionals working with families to be aware of the signs of parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting, and to take steps to address these issues before they escalate. This may involve working with a mental health professional to develop a plan for repairing damaged relationships, or working with a family law attorney to seek court intervention if necessary.

Overall, raising awareness of parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting is an important step in promoting healthy and supportive family relationships, and ensuring the well-being of children and families.


Q & A – What is a dysfunctional family?

Dysfunctional families are those that exhibit patterns of behavior that are unhealthy or disruptive to the well-being of the individuals involved. While the specific traits of a dysfunctional family may vary depending on the family’s unique circumstances, there are several common defining characteristics:

  1. Poor Communication: A lack of open, honest communication between family members, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
  2. Inadequate emotional support: Family members who do not offer adequate emotional support, or who are critical or judgmental of one another.
  3. Neglect or abuse: Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse or neglect, either by family members or within the family system.
  4. Addiction: The presence of substance abuse or other addictive behaviors within the family.
  5. Enmeshment or disengagement: Family members who are overly involved in each other’s lives, leading to a lack of individual autonomy, or those who are emotionally distant and disconnected from each other.
  6. Blaming and shaming: A tendency to blame or shame others for problems or mistakes, rather than taking responsibility for one’s actions.
  7. Control and manipulation: A family system that is marked by control and manipulation, with certain members exerting undue influence or power over others.
  8. Lack of boundaries: A family that does not have clear or healthy boundaries, with members crossing each other’s personal or emotional boundaries.

It’s important to note that dysfunctional families can have a negative impact on the mental health and well-being of their members. If you are a part of a dysfunctional family, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance in navigating these challenges.

 © Linda C J Turner

EMOTIONAL ABUSE Q & A with #LindaCJTurner

Q & A -The don’t talk rule?

The “don’t talk rule” is a common phenomenon in families where certain topics are considered taboo and not to be discussed openly. This can include issues such as mental health problems, addiction, abuse, or other sensitive topics that may be uncomfortable or embarrassing to address.

While the intention behind the “don’t talk rule” may be to avoid conflict or protect the family’s reputation, it can have negative consequences. By not acknowledging and addressing the real family problem, it can lead to increased tension, secrecy, and a sense of isolation for those who are affected by the issue. It can also prevent individuals from seeking help or support, leading to the problem persisting or worsening over time.

It’s important for families to recognize the potential harm of the “don’t talk rule” and to work towards creating an open and supportive environment where difficult topics can be discussed and addressed in a healthy and constructive way. This may involve seeking the help of a therapist or counselor to facilitate these conversations and provide support to those who need it.

 © Linda C J Turner

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) PERSONALITY DISORDERS


Just as it is normal for little children to be egocentric at an early age, feeling important or even invincible, the NPA becomes locked into that stage and never grows out of it. When the NPA allows their child to feel too important, giving them too much control, that child will inevitably maintain their infantile fantasy of power to control their parents, thereby hindering their ability to stand alone in later years. These children learn how to hone their skills by scanning their environment, seeking out others who can fulfill their own narcissistic supply, eventually becoming an alienator themselves. This way, the child(ren) can share the household parental power, usurp and maintain control at the expense of the target parent, and, at the same time, cater to the needs of the infantile NPA who gains their internal gratification from the child’s or teen’s behavior and the pain caused to the target parent.

People who tolerate bad boundaries and the subsequent violations are very much like the narcissist and parental alienator, as they have not developed a strong perception of Separate Self. These individuals have grown in families where intrusions were accepted and were not given the support for autonomy. Nevertheless, alienating abusers are not very likely to seek professional help, as they are shame-intolerant, salted with the inability to recognize their own narcissism. Many therapists ignore or miss the possibility to diagnose NPD, as it is not amenable to health insurance companies who pay for patients and favor a short-term treatment approach.

Children who become severely alienated from a once-loved parent and who have developed Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), frequently become brutally narcissistic and cruelly abusive during adolescence. As Aristotle remarked “Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.” Their intensity to hate the people they once loved grows, sometimes to the point of violence or threats thereof, kleptomania, and in some instances, teens may commit suicide or parricide.

Q & A – Famous people with severe mental illness?

It is important to note that mental illness does not necessarily lead to dangerous behavior. However, there have been instances where individuals with mental illness have committed dangerous acts. Here are some examples of famous individuals who have been diagnosed with mental illness and have been involved in dangerous behavior:

  1. Ted Bundy: A notorious American serial killer who murdered at least 30 young women between 1974 and 1978. Bundy was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder.
  2. John Hinckley Jr.: Hinckley attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981 in an attempt to impress actress Jodie Foster. Hinckley was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
  3. Andrea Yates: Yates drowned her five children in the bathtub in 2001. She was diagnosed with postpartum depression and psychosis.
  4. Jeffrey Dahmer: An American serial killer and sex offender who murdered 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991. Dahmer was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, and alcoholism.
  5. Virginia Woolf: A renowned British writer who suffered from bipolar disorder and committed suicide by drowning in 1941.

It is important to note that mental illness does not necessarily lead to dangerous behavior, and individuals with mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators of it. It is also important to recognize that these individuals are exceptions rather than the norm, and that the vast majority of people with mental illness do not pose a danger to themselves or others.

 © Linda C J Turner


What Happens When Things Go Wrong?

This lecture continues to cover one of the most salient areas within the field of psychology known as psychopathology, or clinical psychology. Following a discussion of the different ways of defining mental illness, Professor Bloom reviews several classes of clinical diagnoses including schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, dissociative disorders, and personality disorders. The lecture concludes with a brief introduction to therapy.

00:00 – Chapter 1. Identifying Mental Illness

11:30 – Chapter 2. Schizophrenia

24:51 – Chapter 3. Anxiety Disorders

30:35 – Chapter 4. Question and Answer on Schizophrenia and Anxiety Disorders

35:02 – Chapter 5. Dissociative Identity Disorders

44:58 – Chapter 6. Question and Answer on Dissociative Identity Disorders

46:31 – Chapter 7. Personality Disorders

54:33 – Chapter 8. Brief History on Therapy