NARCISSISTIC BEGINNINGS AND CHILDHOOD

Just as it is normal for little children to be egocentric at an early age, feeling important or even invincible, the NPA becomes locked into that stage and never grows out of it. When the NPA allows their child to feel too important, giving them too much control, that child will inevitably maintain their infantile fantasy of power to control their parents, thereby hindering their ability to stand alone in later years. These children learn how to hone their skills by scanning their environment, seeking out others who can fulfill their own narcissistic supply, eventually becoming an alienator themselves. This way, the child(ren) can share the household parental power, usurp and maintain control at the expense of the target parent, and, at the same time, cater to the needs of the infantile NPA who gains their internal gratification from the child’s or teen’s behavior and the pain caused to the target parent.

People who tolerate bad boundaries and the subsequent violations are very much like the narcissist and parental alienator, as they have not developed a strong perception of Separate Self. These individuals have grown in families where intrusions were accepted and were not given the support for autonomy. Nevertheless, alienating abusers are not very likely to seek professional help, as they are shame-intolerant, salted with the inability to recognize their own narcissism. Many therapists ignore or miss the possibility to diagnose NPD, as it is not amenable to health insurance companies who pay for patients and favor a short-term treatment approach.

Children who become severely alienated from a once-loved parent and who have developed Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), frequently become brutally narcissistic and cruelly abusive during adolescence. As Aristotle remarked “Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.” Their intensity to hate the people they once loved grows, sometimes to the point of violence or threats thereof, kleptomania, and in some instances, teens may commit suicide or parricide.

https://healingfromestrangement.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/17-unadulterated-arrogance-autopsy-of-the-narcissisitic-alienator.pdf