Jay’s mum was considered unable to put Jay’s needs before her own. She was abusing alcohol, exposing Jay to a succession of violent intimate partner relationships, isolating him from a key attachment figure. Her lack of insight into her own behaviours and functioning, her inability to mentalise Jay’s experience, to step inside his shoes, meant that she would continue to struggle to provide a secure and stable home for him.
I am frightened, scared – I don’t know what to do. I don’t like this new man – he hurts mummy; she cries. Sometimes mummy doesn’t wake up when I shake her … He shouts at me when I cry.