Just as it is normal for little children to be egocentric at an early age, feeling important or even invincible, the NPA becomes locked into that stage and never grows out of it. When the NPA allows their child to feel too important, giving them too much control, that child will inevitably maintain their infantile fantasy of power to control their parents, thereby hindering their ability to stand alone in later years. These children learn how to hone their skills by scanning their environment, seeking out others who can fulfill their own narcissistic supply, eventually becoming an alienator themselves. This way, the child(ren) can share the household parental power, usurp and maintain control at the expense of the target parent, and, at the same time, cater to the needs of the infantile NPA who gains their internal gratification from the child’s or teen’s behavior and the pain caused to the target parent.
People who tolerate bad boundaries and the subsequent violations are very much like the narcissist and parental alienator, as they have not developed a strong perception of Separate Self. These individuals have grown in families where intrusions were accepted and were not given the support for autonomy. Nevertheless, alienating abusers are not very likely to seek professional help, as they are shame-intolerant, salted with the inability to recognize their own narcissism. Many therapists ignore or miss the possibility to diagnose NPD, as it is not amenable to health insurance companies who pay for patients and favor a short-term treatment approach.
Children who become severely alienated from a once-loved parent and who have developed Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), frequently become brutally narcissistic and cruelly abusive during adolescence. As Aristotle remarked “Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.” Their intensity to hate the people they once loved grows, sometimes to the point of violence or threats thereof, kleptomania, and in some instances, teens may commit suicide or parricide.
https://healingfromestrangement.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/17-unadulterated-arrogance-autopsy-of-the-narcissisitic-alienator.pdf
Category: NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
Understanding what fuels the pathological narcissist
Pathological narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration and attention from others. There are several factors that can contribute to the development and fueling of pathological narcissism:
- Childhood experiences: Narcissistic behavior can be rooted in childhood experiences, such as neglect, abuse, or excessive admiration and praise from parents. A child who is constantly praised for their looks, intelligence, or talents may grow up believing that they are entitled to special treatment and admiration.
- Genetics and biology: Studies have suggested that there may be a genetic component to narcissistic personality disorder. Additionally, research has found that certain areas of the brain associated with empathy and self-reflection are less active in individuals with narcissistic traits.
- Environmental factors: Environmental factors such as cultural values and societal norms can also contribute to the development of pathological narcissism. In some cultures, success and achievement are highly valued, and individuals may develop narcissistic traits in order to meet these expectations.
- Trauma: Traumatic experiences such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse can also contribute to the development of narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals who have experienced trauma may use narcissistic behaviors as a coping mechanism to protect themselves from further harm.
Overall, the development of pathological narcissism is likely influenced by a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Therapy and other forms of treatment can help individuals with narcissistic personality disorder develop more healthy coping mechanisms and improve their ability to form meaningful relationships with others.
Senseless Revenge
When someone carries out revenge for no reason, it is often referred to as “senseless revenge” or “revenge without cause.” This type of behavior is particularly destructive, as it involves seeking retribution without any provocation or justification.
There may be a variety of reasons why someone might engage in senseless revenge. It could be due to a mental health issue, a desire for power or control, or simply a lack of empathy or understanding of the harm that their actions may cause.
Whatever the reason, senseless revenge can be extremely damaging to those who are targeted, and it can have wider ripple effects on families, communities, and even society as a whole. It’s important to try and understand the root causes of this behavior and to work towards prevention and education to help break the cycle of senseless violence and revenge
Q & A -Does a child of NPD have to adore and agree with them always?
It’s true that a parent with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may have a strong need for admiration and attention from others, including their own children. This can lead to a dynamic where the child is expected to constantly provide the parent with praise and reassurance, and may be punished or criticized if they fail to do so.
As a result, children of parents with NPD may become skilled at adapting to the parent’s needs and desires, and may learn to behave in ways that are designed to please the parent and avoid conflict. This can lead to a range of negative outcomes, including a lack of autonomy, low self-esteem, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships with others.
It’s important for parents and caregivers to recognize the potential impact of NPD on children and to take steps to protect and support them. This may include seeking professional help and support, setting boundaries with the parent, and providing the child with opportunities for healthy expression and exploration of their own feelings and desires.
Children of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Children of parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) may experience a range of negative emotional and psychological outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. This can be particularly true when the child is away from the parent, as they may feel a sense of relief from the pressure to constantly please and appease the parent.
Children of parents with NPD may also struggle to form healthy relationships with others, as they may have learned to adapt to the parent’s needs and desires at the expense of their own sense of self. This can lead to difficulties in forming healthy boundaries, expressing emotions, and developing a sense of autonomy and independence.
It’s important for parents and caregivers to recognize the potential impact of NPD on children and to take steps to protect and support them. This may include seeking professional help and support, providing the child with opportunities for healthy expression and exploration of their own feelings and desires, and setting boundaries with the parent to ensure that the child’s needs and well-being are prioritized.
Q & A – what is PCL-R 20-item checklist?
The PCL-R 20-item checklist is a tool used for the assessment of psychopathy. It consists of 20 items, each of which is rated on a three-point scale (0, 1, or 2) based on the presence or absence of certain personality traits or behaviors associated with psychopathy.
The 20 items of the PCL-R are:
- glibness/superficial charm
- grandiose sense of self-worth
- need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
- pathological lying
- cunning/manipulative
- lack of remorse or guilt
- shallow affect
- callous/lack of empathy
- parasitic lifestyle
- poor behavioral controls
- sexual promiscuity
- early behavior problems
- lack of realistic long-term goals
- impulsivity
- irresponsibility
- failure to accept responsibility for own actions
- many short-term marital relationships
- juvenile delinquency
- revocation of conditional release
- criminal versatility
Each item is rated based on the degree to which the person being assessed exhibits the behavior or trait in question. A score of 0 indicates that the behavior or trait is not present, a score of 1 indicates that it is somewhat present, and a score of 2 indicates that it is clearly present. A total score of 30 or above is generally considered indicative of psychopathy. However, it’s important to note that only trained professionals should use this tool for assessment purposes.
Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R),
The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) is a widely used tool for the assessment of psychopathy, developed by Canadian psychologist Dr. Robert Hare. Psychopathy is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of empathy, shallow emotions, and manipulative behavior.
The PCL-R consists of a 20-item checklist, each of which is rated on a three-point scale (0, 1, or 2) based on the presence or absence of certain personality traits or behaviors associated with psychopathy. The 20 items are divided into two main categories:
- Personality traits: These items reflect long-term patterns of behavior, attitudes, and personality traits associated with psychopathy, including superficial charm, grandiosity, pathological lying, and lack of remorse or guilt.
- Antisocial behaviors: These items reflect specific behaviors associated with psychopathy, such as impulsivity, criminal versatility, and a history of juvenile delinquency.
A score of 30 or higher (out of a maximum of 40) on the PCL-R is generally considered indicative of psychopathy. However, it is important to note that the PCL-R should only be used by trained professionals and is just one tool among many used to assess personality disorders.
Q & A – I have been told go no contact with a narcissist-is this true?
Going no contact with a narcissist can be an effective way to protect your own well-being and avoid further harm or abuse. When you go no contact, you essentially cut off all communication and contact with the narcissist, which can help you to disengage from their toxic behavior and create boundaries to protect yourself.
However, going no contact may not always be possible or practical, particularly in situations where you have ongoing contact with the narcissist, such as in co-parenting or work relationships. In these situations, it may be necessary to set clear boundaries and limit contact as much as possible, while also seeking support from a therapist or support group.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to go no contact with a narcissist is a personal one that depends on your individual circumstances and needs. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support as needed.
Q & A – Should I give up on a Narcissist?
Whether or not to give up on a narcissist is a personal decision that depends on a variety of factors, including the severity of the narcissism, the impact on your well-being, and your own personal boundaries and values.
In some cases, it may be necessary to end a relationship with a narcissist if their behavior is harmful, abusive, or destructive to your well-being. This may involve setting clear boundaries and communicating them clearly, seeking support from a therapist or support group, and prioritizing your own self-care and well-being.
In other cases, working with a therapist who is experienced in treating individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be a helpful tool. While it can be challenging to work with someone with NPD, therapy can help individuals with this condition learn coping skills, develop more positive self-perceptions, and improve their relationships with others.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to give up on a narcissist is a personal one that only you can make. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support as needed.
Q & A – I have been told that my partner is a Narcissist – what can I do?
If you have been told that your partner may have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), there are several steps you can take to protect your own well-being and seek support.
- Educate yourself: Learn more about NPD and how it can affect relationships. This can help you understand your partner’s behavior and make informed decisions about your next steps.
- Set boundaries: If your partner’s behavior is affecting your well-being, it is important to set clear boundaries and communicate them clearly. This may involve limiting contact or ending the relationship altogether.
- Seek support: Narcissistic behavior can be emotionally draining and can take a toll on your mental health. Consider seeking support from a therapist, support group, or trusted friend or family member.
- Take care of yourself: It is important to prioritize your own well-being and take care of yourself. This may involve engaging in self-care activities, seeking out hobbies and interests that bring you joy, and making time for your own needs.
- Consider couples therapy: If you are in a relationship with someone who may have NPD and you wish to work on the relationship, couples therapy can be a helpful tool. However, it is important to find a therapist who is experienced in working with individuals with NPD and can provide support for both you and your partner.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay in a relationship with someone who may have NPD is a personal one that only you can make. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support as needed.
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