Category: SELF HELP

Q & A – What is Emotional literacy?

Emotional literacy refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and express our own emotions as well as the emotions of others. It involves having a vocabulary to describe our feelings, being able to regulate our emotions, and using our emotions to guide our thoughts and actions.

Emotional literacy is an important aspect of emotional intelligence and is considered an essential skill for social and emotional development. It helps us to navigate our relationships with others, make better decisions, and cope with life’s challenges.

Some ways to improve emotional literacy include:

  1. Developing an emotional vocabulary: Practice naming your emotions and identifying them in others.
  2. Paying attention to body cues: Learn to recognize physical sensations that are associated with different emotions, such as a racing heart when feeling anxious.
  3. Practicing mindfulness: Being present in the moment and observing your emotions can help you regulate them more effectively.
  4. Seeking support: Talking to others about your emotions and seeking support when needed can help you develop a deeper understanding of your own emotions and the emotions of others.
  5. Using your emotions as a guide: Emotions can provide valuable information about our needs and desires, so learn to use them to guide your thoughts and actions.

Overall, emotional literacy is a crucial skill that can help us lead happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

A very special mothers day

I feel very blessed to have had a wonderful. mothers day yesterday.

  1. A very special friend asked me out to lunch to celebrate being mothers. We sat by the sparking sea on a perfect day drinking cava and eating tapas just watching the world go by. Laughing and joking in the most perfect setting.
  2. My son-in-law sent me a lovely message wishing me a happy mother’s day
  3. Yesterdays client statement- “the very best generals have suffered the toughest wars” followed by sincere gratitude for helping her get back her life.

I may not of heard from my children for many years (stopped counting the years) but feeling very humbled and privileged to have some amazing people in my life. 

Not the Mothers Day I was expecting! Thankyou, all of you. xxxx

Linda – Always By Your Side

My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.” — Steve Goodier

Living in integrity

Living in integrity involves making a conscious effort to align your actions with your values and beliefs. Here are some steps you can take to live in integrity:

  1. Identify your values and beliefs: Spend some time reflecting on your core values and beliefs. What is most important to you? What principles do you want to live by?
  2. Be honest with yourself: Once you have identified your values and beliefs, be honest with yourself about whether your actions are in alignment with them. Are there areas in your life where you are not living in accordance with your values?
  3. Practice self-reflection: Regularly take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Consider how your behavior aligns with your values, and identify any areas where you may be acting in a way that is inconsistent with your beliefs.
  4. Take responsibility for your actions: When you make a mistake or act in a way that is not in alignment with your values, take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledge the mistake, make amends if necessary, and commit to doing better in the future.
  5. Be consistent: Make a conscious effort to act in a way that is consistent with your values and beliefs, even when it is difficult or inconvenient. Be reliable and trustworthy, and others will see you as a person of integrity.
  6. Surround yourself with like-minded people: Surround yourself with people who share your values and beliefs. This can help reinforce your commitment to living in integrity and provide support when you face challenges.

Living in integrity is a lifelong process, and it requires ongoing self-reflection and a commitment to doing what is right. By aligning your actions with your values and beliefs, you can live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Integrity

Integrity refers to the quality of being honest, trustworthy, and having strong moral principles. It involves adhering to a code of ethics or set of values, even when it is difficult or inconvenient to do so.

Individuals with integrity act in a manner that is consistent with their beliefs and values, even in situations where they might face pressure or temptation to compromise those principles. They are reliable and dependable, and others can trust them to do what they say they will do.

Integrity is an important component of good character and is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships with others. When someone has integrity, they are seen as being authentic and genuine, and are respected for their honesty and reliability.

Acting with integrity requires self-awareness, introspection, and a commitment to doing what is right, even when it is difficult. It involves being accountable for one’s actions and taking responsibility for any mistakes or missteps that are made. Overall, having integrity is a key aspect of being a trustworthy and respected member of a community or society.

Being authentic

Being authentic means being true to oneself and living in accordance with one’s values, beliefs, and desires. It involves being honest with oneself and others, and not pretending to be someone or something that one is not.

Living authentically can be a powerful way to cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning in life. It can help individuals feel more connected to their own experiences and the experiences of those around them, and can lead to deeper and more fulfilling relationships.

However, living authentically can also be challenging, as it often requires individuals to confront their fears and vulnerabilities, and to take risks in expressing themselves and pursuing their goals. It can be tempting to hide behind a facade or to conform to societal norms and expectations, but doing so can lead to feelings of disconnection and dissatisfaction.

Ultimately, living authentically requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable. It involves being true to oneself, even in the face of adversity or criticism. By doing so, individuals can cultivate a sense of inner peace and fulfillment that can lead to greater happiness and well-being.

Q & A – Someone is provoking me

Not responding to provocation is a common advice given to people in many situations, and it refers to the idea of avoiding reacting emotionally to someone else’s attempt to anger or upset us.

Provocation can take many forms, including insults, criticism, taunts, or intentionally rude behavior, and it is often aimed at getting a reaction out of the person being provoked. However, responding in an emotional or aggressive manner can often escalate the situation and make it worse.

By not responding to provocation, we can prevent the situation from escalating and maintain our emotional balance. This can also prevent us from saying or doing things we might regret later. Instead, we can choose to respond calmly and assertively, or simply ignore the provocation altogether and move on.

Q & A – Can I use self help for a personality disorder?

While self-help can be a useful supplement to therapy and other forms of professional treatment for a personality disorder, it is not typically recommended as a sole treatment approach.

Personality disorders are complex and often deeply ingrained patterns of behavior and thought, and they can be difficult to change without the help of a trained mental health professional. However, there are a variety of self-help strategies that can help individuals with personality disorders to manage their symptoms and improve their overall well-being, such as:

  1. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help individuals with personality disorders to manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress.
  2. Self-monitoring and self-awareness: Keeping track of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you to develop a greater understanding of your personality disorder and identify patterns or triggers that contribute to your symptoms.
  3. Self-help resources: There are a variety of self-help books, online resources, and support groups available that can provide information and guidance on managing personality disorders.
  4. Healthy lifestyle habits: Engaging in regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and avoiding alcohol and drugs can help to improve overall physical and mental health.

However, it’s important to note that self-help strategies are not a substitute for professional treatment. If you suspect that you may have a personality disorder, it’s important to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional who can provide a proper diagnosis and develop a personalized treatment plan.

Q & A – can a friend or family member be your therapist?

It is not recommended for a friend or family member to serve as your therapist or primary mental health provider. While it’s natural to seek support from loved ones during difficult times, therapy requires a level of professional training, skill, and objectivity that is not typically present in personal relationships.

There are several reasons why it is not recommended to rely on friends or family members for therapy:

  1. Lack of objectivity: A therapist is trained to remain objective and non-judgmental in their interactions with clients, which is difficult for someone who is close to you to do. A friend or family member may have their own biases or opinions about your situation, which can influence their ability to provide unbiased support.
  2. Boundaries: Therapy involves establishing clear boundaries between the client and the therapist, which can be difficult to maintain in personal relationships. A therapist is trained to set appropriate boundaries around confidentiality, communication, and expectations for the therapeutic relationship, which can be challenging for someone who is not trained in therapy.
  3. Lack of training: Therapists undergo extensive training and education to develop the skills needed to provide effective therapy. While a friend or family member may have good intentions, they are unlikely to have the same level of training and expertise needed to address complex mental health issues.
  4. Potential strain on the relationship: Relying on a friend or family member for therapy can put strain on the relationship and may create an imbalance of power or expectations. It can be difficult for a friend or family member to serve as both a support system and a therapist, which can create conflict and strain in the relationship.

Overall, it’s important to seek support from trained mental health professionals when seeking therapy or treatment for mental health issues. While friends and family can provide valuable support and encouragement, they are not a substitute for professional therapy.

Q & A – Can you still be happy whilst be inauthentic?

It is possible to feel happy while being inauthentic, but this happiness is likely to be temporary and may come at the cost of one’s long-term wellbeing.

Being inauthentic means presenting a false image of oneself or pretending to be someone you are not, either to gain acceptance or to avoid rejection. While this may provide a temporary sense of happiness or relief, it is not sustainable in the long run. Living a life that is not true to oneself can lead to feelings of emptiness, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

Furthermore, being inauthentic can damage relationships and make it difficult to form genuine connections with others. Authenticity is often viewed as an essential component of healthy relationships because it allows individuals to express themselves honestly and be accepted for who they are.

In conclusion, while it may be possible to experience temporary happiness while being inauthentic, it is not a sustainable path to long-term happiness and fulfillment. It’s essential to be true to oneself and build authentic relationships with others.

Being Authentic

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