What is toxic positivity?

Image result for pretending to be positive

What is Toxic Positivity? We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.

Natural Born Liars – The Yo Yo effect

May was in and out of her mothers life like a Yo Yo!!

After not bothering for many years May decided to pay her mother a visit when she was 18. She wanted money for medical reasons, her mother happily gave her the money then was very quickly dumped.

The next occcassion was she needed money for her horse, again mother coughed up like parents do, and yes you guessed it dumped again.

This pattern continued for several years.

There was even one occasion when May turned up at her grandmothers house escorted by the Police for shoplifting, claiming that’s where she lived. grandmother told the officer she had not seen her for at least 10 years.

Spain – May wanted her things furniture and belongings shipped from Spain when she left for Australia. Mother paid 2,800 for shipment to her home where she had storage. May told everyone that mother had stolen the furniture and belongings after dumping her yet again!!!

Australia – wanted money to invest in a horse that was having a prize winning foal. Discovered years later the horse was on loan and not even her horse. Mother never had a return on her investment and May knew she wouldn’t. – not seen for several years after.

Bournemouth – May needed money again to pay huge livery bills she had run up, mother paid again and was swiftly dumped.

Spain to UK – Mays horses and the family dog had been left in Spain and again May had run up huge debts even though her husband was giving her plenty of money to pay for her extravagant lifestyle of nannies, cleaners etc etc. When she had bled her husband dry, and her father refused to pay, it was mother who put her hand in her pocket and paid for her and her daughters horse and all the kennel fees for the dog to be returned to the UK. She told her friends she had paid for it!!!!

Yes you know how the story goes…….


Mother had had enough – she was no longer desperate to see her daughter just to be financially abused over and over again.

Mother did not take it personally because it was the way May was with everyone who came into her life!

Mother felt sorry for anyone who came Mays way, they would be left broke and high and dry.


So Funny Reminds me of someone?

You know it’s all about me [4x]
Don’t hate me ’cause I got it goin’ on
It’s just me, I’m hot never cold
I can rock it any way that I choose
I’m so good (Oh yeah)
I make up all the rules
I can’t help it if I set all the trends
Everybody wants to be my best friend
It’s infectious, come on don’t you be jealous
Just join in this love fest
You know that
It’s all about me
It’s all about me
Oh yeah, me, myself and I
It’s all about me
It’s all about me
(You know It’s all about me)
It’s all about me me me me me
Everybody knows that it’s all about me
M-m-m-myspace I have ten million friends
T-t-t-text me bff ’til the end
P-p-p-page me on your cell and press send
Diva what? Diva who? Diva where? That’s me!
D-d-d-download all my crazy new hooks
U-u-u-upload all my video looks
So buy my ringtone, fashion line and cookbooks
Diva what? Diva who? Diva where?
It’s all about me
It’s all about me
Oh yeah, me, myself and I
It’s all about me
It’s all about me (You know it’s all about me)
It’s all about me me me me me
Everybody knows that it’s all about me
Don’t blame her I’m so beautiful
Not her fault I’m platinum and gold
She’s the queen and my reign is supreme
So follow the leader you’re all on my team
I can’t help it if I set all the trends
Everybody wants to be my best friend
It’s contagious and it’s so outrageous
Grandparents, grown-ups, kids of all ages
You know Madonna ain’t got nothin’ on me
B-B-B-Beyonce ain’t got nothin’ on me
C-C-C-Christina ain’t got nothin’ on me
Diva what? Diva who? Diva where? That’s me!
You know Mariah ain’t got nothin’ on me
F-F-F-Fergie ain’t got nothin’ on me
G-Gwen Stefani ain’t got nothin’ on me
Diva what? Diva who? Diva where? That’s me!
You know it’s all about me
I’m a speciality
You know it’s all about me
I’m an anomaly
You know it’s all about me, who else could it be?
Upload, download, text me, page me
MySpace, Youtube don’t erase me
Fergie, J-Lo, Gwen Stefani
You know they got nothin’ on me
Indoor, outdoor I’m so clever
That’s why I will rule forever

Natural Born Liars – Con Artists

May had been on benefits her whole life, from the day she left school at 14 up until the age of 42. Its the only thing she knew how, its the only thing Kram had taught her over the years, how to scam the system!

Everyone boyfriend she ever had, had been chosen by Kram, someone he could manipulate and fleece, similar to the girlfriends he chose. Their philosophy in life was why work for money when you can extort money out of others who loved you, and milk the system.

May decided to open yet another fake company injecting BOTOX and fillers. She had been there before many years ago back in Bournemouth, where she befriended a Turkish man posing to be a BOTOX doctor. They worked together in her salon pulling in unsuspecting clients. He botched so many people who ended up in hospital, he ended up in prison.

This is what they did well, Kram and May worked as a team befriending flying monkeys and using them to do their dirty work. The flying monkeys would often end up in trouble and Kram and May would feign innocence to the authorities walking away unscathed and Scott free, laughing all the way to the bank. May and her sidekick Kram always left a trail of devastation behind them, it was their game plan.

Pseudologia fantastica – they invented the word!



What is a Flying Monkey

Flying monkeys is a phrase sometimes used in popular psychology to describe people who are acting at the behest of another to control a targeted individual. It is a metaphor taken from the Wizard of Oz wherein the Wicked Witch of the West used winged monkeys to carry out evil deeds on her behalf

“The Monkeys caught Dorothy in their arms and flew away with her.”

Natural Born Liars – cruelty

May often accused Kram her father of being cruel to animals, she said during her time in Florida when fleeing from the police and the false statement about the burglary, that Kram her father had starved her dog she had left behind. She reported that the neighbours had videod Kram throwing the dog outside whilst having several different women at her house. She said over the years that Kram had damaged and harmed her horses, and on one occasion had one of her horses put down whilst she was on holiday with a boyfriend in Spain.

Kram had lived with May and her husband for several years pretending to all his flying monkeys that he owned the house when in fact it was actually rented and it was Mays husband who paid all the bills. When Mays husband finally got fed up with all Krams promiscuous behaviour constantly bringing different women to the house in front of his children he finally decided to throw him out.

Thats when all the trouble started, dead pheasants hanging outside the front door, abusive phone calls and texts.

This is when May and Kram decided to plot the burglary, if Kram could not enjoy the comfortable parasitic lifestyle at someone else’s expense he would make Mays husband pay in other ways

Natural Born Liars – part deux – click here for more

Natural Born Liars – cont……………

Edan was conspicuous by his absence. He had not seen his mother for over 25 years. He had very little to do with his father, maybe just a couple of hours at Christmas and so the story goes.

Edan was the complete opposite of May, quiet, studious, intelligent, stayed in the background. Maybe he had little choice over the years with May always grasping the attention and being the ultimate drama queen.

Every birthday and Christmas his mother had sent cards and had fond memories of the loving child he once was. The mother was told conflicting stories.

1) that every card she had ever sent had been burnt without even opening.

version 2

2) Every card had been read and saved!!!

Either way, she had never forgotten.

Both Edan and May both knew deep down in their hearts the truth, that their mother had always loved them equally. But nothing could repair the damage created by Kram throughout the years.

Edan was now 44 years old and May 42, they were old enough to make their own choices in life. Their mother hoped they would be good choices and that they were both happy. Sadly May appeared hell bent on destroying any happiness anyone had, she lived for money and revenge. After years of being drip fed hate and anger, Toxic blood ran through her veins, it was her normal, it was what she had been indoctrinated with over the years.

Their mother had learned to live with the situation like many others reading this on this website. This was her normal over the past 35 years, living her life in the best possible way she knew. Helping others to come to terms with their situation.

Linda – Always by your side

Natural Born Liars – Part Deux

Natural Born Liars – Part Deux

May and Kram thought they had plotted the perfect crime!

May had found a new potential partner, Kram had checked him out and beleived his family to have plenty of money so it would free him of any expense from May and her expensive habits.

They had staged a burglary using Mays admirer as an accomplice. Whilst May was taking the children to school the burglars entered the house and tied up Tam her husband and threatened him with blackmail. Strangely they knew were the alarm was and the safe, and they were familiar with all the jewellery and seemed to know much more than the average burglar!!!

May cam back from dropping the kids in school, saw her husband Tam tied to the chair being threatened with a knife, so decided to go out for 45 minutes and make a few phone calls before calling the police.

As usual Kram (who was lacking in emotional intelligence) had got all his facts completely wrong.

To cut a long story short, the whole plot went completely wrong after Krams miscalculations, so Kram went to the Police to try and frame Tam and shift the blame.

  • May blamed Kram and said it was all his idea and dumped him like a hot potato.
  • Kram blamed the new boyfriend and said it was his idea but still had to pay the burglars for attempting it.
  • Tam knew exactly what was going on, and who had arranged what, and had the evidence to prove it.

May jumped on plane to Florida and called her mother for the fist time in years. Mother thought it was just another one of her fantasy stories to get some attention until she received a photo of May on the plane.

It was the first time ever her mother had ever seen any emotion on Mays face.

The emotion was sheer fear?????

To be continued.

Linda – Always by your side

How does narcissism affect family?

In narcissistic families, this hierarchy is non-existent; the children are there to serve parental needs. Lack of Emotional Tune-In. Narcissistic parents lack the ability to emotionally tune in to their kids. They cannot feel and show empathy or unconditional love.

The narcissistic family hides profound pain.

Such families tend to operate according to an unspoken set of rules. Children learn to live with those rules, but never stop being confused and pained by them, for these rules block their emotional access to their parents. They basically become invisible—neither heard, seen, or nurtured. Conversely, and tragically, this set of rules allows the parents to have no boundaries with the children and to use (or abuse) them as they see fit.

The following are some common dynamics of this profoundly dysfunctional intergenerational system. (Keep in mind there are always degrees of dysfunction on a spectrum depending on the level of narcissism in the parents.)

  1. Secrets. The family secret is that the parents are not meeting the children’s emotional needs, or that they are abusive in some way. This is the norm in the narcissistic family. The message to the children: “Don’t tell the outside world—pretend everything is fine.”

The Narcissistic Family Tree | Psychology Today


Catfishing — luring someone into an online relationship by creating a fake profile — is not in itself a crime. The MTV series (you can watch it via Now TV or Amazon Prime) shows countless examples of women who are tricked into sending intimate photos to seemingly attractive men they’ve met online. When tracked down and confronted by the show’s presenters, the perpetrators turn out to be nothing like their profile pictures, which have been harvested online.


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