This is a guest post by a survivor, ‘Ava,’ who sent me one of the most inspiring and encouraging stories I’ve heard in a long time. It’s also a painful story, but it demonstrates that conditions can improve dramatically sometimes. So keep on fighting for a life of freedom and love – it is your birthright.
Category: True Stories
True Story
ANON – IN MY CASE IT WAS FINANCIAL.
1991 My children stayed with me until after the divorce until the financial settlement.1992 – My ex husband went for residency order for each child on their twelfth birthdays, I was encouraged to go along with this by a so-called long-term local friend who said it was for the best, so my ex husband would be able to take them holiday without always asking for my permission.(They never got to go on holiday in all the years they lived with him) Unknown to me the so-called friend was sleeping with my ex!!
Posting again by popular request!
Money Money Money
Money Money Money
I have received many questions from alienated parents asking what would it take to reverse PA after many, many years?
Sadly I cannot answer that, I can only tell you from my own experiences.
My daughter has been in and out of my life over the past 15 years, more out than in. I have missed all the significant events in her life, birth of grandchildren etc, birthdays and Christmas’s. She use to blame her ex and her father but I have discovered recently that it was her own choice and no one else’s. When I once asked her “what if one day you all In love with someone who has nothing” Her reply was “that will never ever happen, I will never stay in a relationship with someone who does not have loads of money” Speaks volumes………
When I asked her why my son had not seen me for over 30 years her response was “he will talk to you if you give him 10,000 pound”. Even if I win the lottery this is never going to happen.
On every single occasion I was lured in by her fake persona, believing that she really wanted a relationship with me, and on every single occasion the same thing would happen. Eventually after luring me into a false sense of security it would come. The guilt trip, asking for money to pay debts, horses, bills, etc etc. Immediately after paying she would dump me, just like everyone else she knew. I fell for this several times over the years.
Why did I believe I was any different from anyone else she she used and abused??
So after many years of no contact, and being raised by her money orientated father, who is exactly the same, why would either of them be any different?
I have been raised to believe that relationships, friendship and love are built on mutual respect and trust, money has nothing to do with it. But everyone is different
So my advice would be to be true to yourself, do no try to buy their love. Live a good honest life free from the shackles of Parental Alienation.
Focus on the people who do want to be in your life, embrace the good.
Live you best life.
Linda – Always By Your Side
Natural Born Liars – The Yo Yo effect
May was in and out of her mothers life like a Yo Yo!!
After not bothering for many years May decided to pay her mother a visit when she was 18. She wanted money for medical reasons, her mother happily gave her the money then was very quickly dumped.
The next occcassion was she needed money for her horse, again mother coughed up like parents do, and yes you guessed it dumped again.
This pattern continued for several years.
There was even one occasion when May turned up at her grandmothers house escorted by the Police for shoplifting, claiming that’s where she lived. grandmother told the officer she had not seen her for at least 10 years.
Spain – May wanted her things furniture and belongings shipped from Spain when she left for Australia. Mother paid 2,800 for shipment to her home where she had storage. May told everyone that mother had stolen the furniture and belongings after dumping her yet again!!!
Australia – wanted money to invest in a horse that was having a prize winning foal. Discovered years later the horse was on loan and not even her horse. Mother never had a return on her investment and May knew she wouldn’t. – not seen for several years after.
Bournemouth – May needed money again to pay huge livery bills she had run up, mother paid again and was swiftly dumped.
Spain to UK – Mays horses and the family dog had been left in Spain and again May had run up huge debts even though her husband was giving her plenty of money to pay for her extravagant lifestyle of nannies, cleaners etc etc. When she had bled her husband dry, and her father refused to pay, it was mother who put her hand in her pocket and paid for her and her daughters horse and all the kennel fees for the dog to be returned to the UK. She told her friends she had paid for it!!!!
Yes you know how the story goes…….
USE AND ABUSE NO MORE –
Mother had had enough – she was no longer desperate to see her daughter just to be financially abused over and over again.
Mother did not take it personally because it was the way May was with everyone who came into her life!
Mother felt sorry for anyone who came Mays way, they would be left broke and high and dry.
Linda
Natural Born Liars – Con Artists
May had been on benefits her whole life, from the day she left school at 14 up until the age of 42. Its the only thing she knew how, its the only thing Kram had taught her over the years, how to scam the system!
Everyone boyfriend she ever had, had been chosen by Kram, someone he could manipulate and fleece, similar to the girlfriends he chose. Their philosophy in life was why work for money when you can extort money out of others who loved you, and milk the system.
May decided to open yet another fake company injecting BOTOX and fillers. She had been there before many years ago back in Bournemouth, where she befriended a Turkish man posing to be a BOTOX doctor. They worked together in her salon pulling in unsuspecting clients. He botched so many people who ended up in hospital, he ended up in prison.
This is what they did well, Kram and May worked as a team befriending flying monkeys and using them to do their dirty work. The flying monkeys would often end up in trouble and Kram and May would feign innocence to the authorities walking away unscathed and Scott free, laughing all the way to the bank. May and her sidekick Kram always left a trail of devastation behind them, it was their game plan.
Pseudologia fantastica – they invented the word!
USE AND ABUSE.
Linda
Natural Born Liars – cruelty
May often accused Kram her father of being cruel to animals, she said during her time in Florida when fleeing from the police and the false statement about the burglary, that Kram her father had starved her dog she had left behind. She reported that the neighbours had videod Kram throwing the dog outside whilst having several different women at her house. She said over the years that Kram had damaged and harmed her horses, and on one occasion had one of her horses put down whilst she was on holiday with a boyfriend in Spain.
Kram had lived with May and her husband for several years pretending to all his flying monkeys that he owned the house when in fact it was actually rented and it was Mays husband who paid all the bills. When Mays husband finally got fed up with all Krams promiscuous behaviour constantly bringing different women to the house in front of his children he finally decided to throw him out.
Thats when all the trouble started, dead pheasants hanging outside the front door, abusive phone calls and texts.
This is when May and Kram decided to plot the burglary, if Kram could not enjoy the comfortable parasitic lifestyle at someone else’s expense he would make Mays husband pay in other ways
Natural Born Liars – part deux – click here for more
Narcissistic Traits running in the family
A insight to what goes on behind closed doors during Parental Alienation
A story based on true facts during a battle which has lasted over 27 years and continues up until this day.
These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference.
All names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved.
A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner
Every Christmas would be very special, we would take Edan and May to Hamleys to get an idea of what they would like for Christmas then out for a meal afterwards before returning home.
On a few occasions we invited the complete extended family over to our house for Christmas dinner as it was a double celebration with my birthday on Christmas day. It was hard work cooking for 20 people but great fun.
Sadly on the years we did not invite family we always had the dreaded phone call just as we had sat down to eat our Christmas dinner. Crying down the phone to Kram, her day had been ruined, her husband had been in the pub most of the morning and came home to verbally abuse her and her father.She would want Kram to go over to the house to settle things down.
I had the utmost sympathy for her , until after therapy I realised what she had been doing all those years. The burning of the letters and love poems I showed her when Kram was trying to convince his parents that I had driven him to a heart attack. Destroying any evidence that showed that he cared. Ruining our Christmas and birthday just because she was not there, if she was not having a good time she would make sure that we were not either.!!!!!
I came to the realisation years later that this is what she had always wanted. Any rational mother could see what Kram was doing to my children and would have intervened and told the children that I loved them very much and would have supported me.
I asked my daughter and my son several years later if their grandmother had ever told them that I was a very good mother and loved them both very much. You can guess thier reply, “no never”.
Her son could do no wrong, I think she would even let him get away with murder.
Truth Integrity Honesty – I dont think so!!!
A insight to what goes on behind closed doors during Parental Alienation
A story based on true facts during a battle which has lasted over 27 years and continues up until this day.
These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference.
All names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved.
A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner
My mother had always instilled into all of us the importance of always telling the truth, having empathy for others and to have integrity at all times.
She was kind and generous and took me and the children on holiday when I had no money, and made sure Christmas was full of the usual presents and food.
Whilst Kram and I were still married Kram was stupid enough to get sacked from his position at work for stealing, he was convinced at the time that his father was to blame as his father worked at the same place! Never quite sure what that was all about.
As usual Mum came to the rescue and bailed him out lending him a substantial amount of money in those days. A few months later we were due to move house, Edan was only two and May just couple of months old. On the day of exchange Kram had made a huge miscalculation in our finances (he was not the brightest button in the box) and we had a shortfall of two thousand pounds.The bank did not want to know and neither did his parents so back to mum again.
Mum had no hesitation in lending us the money so we could go ahead with the transaction, good old mum was always there to help us out financially.
Kram had a short memory, or maybe just a selective memory as he used every opportunity to talk about mum in a derogatory way and continuously tell me “your mother does not love you” that statement would be used over and over again and then came back to haunt me later when my son Edan wrote the very same statement on the bedroom wall.
History repeating itself.
The saddest thing of all is my mother recently passed away, that is one of the reasons it has taken me so long to write this book. I sent a card and private message to both Edan and May to let them know their grandmother had passed, I could see from the private message that the message was seen within five minutes of sending.
I waited and waited for a card, text or email from either of them showing their sympathy, sadly it never came!!!!!
NATURAL BORN LIARS
Lock up your daughters
A insight to what goes on behind closed doors during Parental Alienation
A story based on true facts during a battle which has lasted over 27 years and continues up until this day.
These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference.
All names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved.
A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner
I had been on my own for several months after the divorce when a good friend suggested I should get back into the social scene.
After what I had been fed for many years I felt unworthy, unloved, unattractive and thought no one would be interested in me. Many friends had shied away due to the outrageous behavior of Kram and several ugly incidents that took place in the village after the divorce.
Every time anyone took any interest in me there would be a damaged car, roof slashed, tool kit removed or burning vehicle left outside someones property.On one occasion when I due in court, Kram parked by (now husband) my boyfriends office and threatened him. Krams words where “I dont care if I end up in Bedford prison”
Kram was very careful always to get someone else to do his dirty work, never him, always employees or lowlife friends.
My friend persuaded a very respectable local tennis coach to take me to a village party one evening, his wife had left many months ago, so why not?? He was one of the very few who was not afraid of Kram, he boldly knocked on the door one day and asked me out. I was very apprehensive and knew there would be repercussions but I had to get out there and life my life, after all I was only 33.
We got to know each other quite well and he knew Kram and what he was capable of.
I was quite shocked and disgusted when he told me that one evening after his daughter had been babysitting Kram walked her back home as he had too much to drink to drive. Apparently even though she was only school age he said I will pay you extra if you give me a kiss, he then tried to make romantic/sexual advances.
You may be reading this thinking – “how awful for his children to read this” but this was minor compared to what my daughter told me several years later.
May was very proud of her father and loved the fact that her school friends found him attractive. She told me many years later that one evening when her friend went to the house for a sleepover, when she woke up, in the morning her friend was in bed with her father Kram!!!!!
I was almost sick with disgust when she told me, and I hoped it was just another one of her bizarre stories.
I asked her how it made her feel, and she smiled and said “all my friends fancied my dad, they think he’s lovely” she did not think there was a problem. When I responded saying it was disgusting she replied “you are only jealous”!!!!!
The more I discovered what happened in that house the worse it became.
A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner
read more NATURAL BORN LIARS
All women are s****
A insight to what goes on behind closed doors during Parental Alienation
A story based on true facts during a battle which has lasted over 27 years and continues up until this day.
These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference.
All names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved.
A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner
All women are slags
In Krams world all women are slags, mothers, daughters, girlfriends, wives and grandmothers. The word was often used in his families household.
Most intelligent women could see Kram for the fake he really was, but if they did not succumb to his narcissistic charms they would be labelled “Slag”.
One day May and her friend in all their innocence at the age of twelve, decided to go into town and get some business cards printed at the local card machine in town.
They thought it would just be a bit of fun to hand around to their friends.May was absolutely stunned and confused when the cards were discovered to be accused of being a “Slag”.
Its no wonder every time I called Edan on the telephone the only words that often spilled from his mouth were “what do you want slag” .The word slag had become so popular in the Kram camp.
Collins English Dictionary:-
countable noun
Slag is used by some people to refer to a woman who they disapprove of because they thinkshe is sexually immoral.
[British, informal, offensive, disapproval]
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