That endless search for real support and understanding, with all its dead ends and wrong turns and disappointments, is why I do the work I do now.
I don’t want people coming into this world of Parental Alienation to find the no mans land I found.
I started this work in 2000, and I stay in this work, because how we deal with and talk about parental alienation matters. How we talk about love matters.
And how we talk to each other – matters.
I’m proud to be part of the parental alienation rebellion.
Parental Alienation is real. It devastates and destroys. Since starting this site 4 years ago more and more children, grown-up children, and targeted parents are coming forward to speak about their pain.
“The long-term implications [of alienation] are pretty severe,” says Amy J. L. Baker, Ph.D nationally recognized expert in parent child relationships, parental alienation syndrome, and emotional abuse of children.
There are two distinct aspects of PA; medical and legal. Medically PA is a form of emotional child abuse, Legally PA is recognised as a behavior pattern but often goes under other names such as ‘Coaching, Prejudicing, Rehearsing’ and synonyms of brainwashing. ‘Parental Alienation’ is emotional child abuse. The Health department has no clear definition of what ’emotional abuse’ is. Although recognised by the courts it is rarely acted upon because as a form of emotional abuse it is very difficult to define, and would require bringing in Social Services.
One of the tell-tale signs of Parental Alienation is when the alienating parent prevents the children from having any relationship with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on the target parent’s side
The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child Article 9 (separation from parents) states that
- Children must not be separated from their parents against their will unless it is in their best interests (for example, if a parent is hurting or neglecting a child).
- Children whose parents have separated have the right to stay in contact with both parents, unless this could cause them harm.
I lived in a village for 18 years where people who knew both me and my children over a long period of time chose to stick their heads in the sand and deny anything was happening. I think any parent, grandparent, doctor, teacher, social worker and any other professionals etc that witnessing this “campaign of denigration” against a targeted parent should take action and contact social services or the NSPCC to prevent further abuse.If they choose to ignore it they are in effect acting as proxy alienators themselves further cementing the alienation.
If I can help prevent just one more child or one more adult suffering the heartache and psychological damage that PA creates then my efforts have not been in vain.
Age 19 to 30
- Had 2 beautiful children
- Renovated 4 properties whilst living in them
- Spent my time at home looking after the children
Age 30 to 40
- Finally managed to get rid of the ex after 14 years!!!!!
- Went to live In Switzerland, worked to save enough to buy a house starting from scratch with no savings or investments (came back to UK after 3 months)
- Got back on the career ladder after not being allowed to work for 12 years
- Secured a permanent position for a company in Milton Keynes
- Met my very best long time friend through work
- Managed to save enough to obtain a mortgage and purchase my own house.
- Went to college whilst working and obtained further qualifications
- Promoted to senior position based in Sweden/Zurich, traveled between UK, Sweden and Zurich
- Met my current husband and moved in together
- Purchased a brand new MGF with my bonus from work
- Wonderful holidays in USA, Yellowstone Park, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, California, Colorado, Texas, Mexico, The Maldives and the Caribbean.
- Champagne Balloon flight across Buckingham for 40th Birthday
Age 40 to 50
- Completed several training courses in HR and Training.
- Made redundant and started my own IT business.
- Secured many IT contracts with local companies.
- Got married to the love of my life in Las Vegas, honeymooned in the Grand Canyon.
- Sold my own house for a substantial profit.
- Sold our marital home and moved to France.
- Purchased our joint dream home in France .
- Took up photography.
- Met a Reiki Master who taught me Reiki and obtained my Master Reiki Certificate after 3 years study.
- Started doing Pilates.
- Started swimming 100 lengths everyday (only in the summer).
- Purchased a telescope and studied the stars.
- Bought our 2 beautiful golden Labradors.
- Met lots of new interesting friends.
- Started an online business in France.
- Continued to explore France, practice Reiki, enjoy life and relax.
- Had my 50th birthday in the Florida Keys
Age 50 to 60
- Retired from work.
- Started studying again.
- Created this website and joined forces with other alienated parents.
- Was asked to be a co founder of NAAP National Association of Alienated Parents.
- Walked the Camino de Santiago Santiago de Compostela.
- Had my first flying lesson .
- Had my 60th Birthday in Phi Phi Island Thailand, 3 days in Bangkok.
- Did my PADI certificate in Thailand, still to be completed.
Age 60 onwards
- Counseling Skills Diploma completed with 100% Distinction.
- NLP Practitioner Course completed with 95% Distinction
- Advanced CBT Diploma
- Hypnosis Masters Diploma
- Life Coaching Diploma
- Emotional Intelligence Diploma
- and just for fun Make Up Artist Diploma
- Moved from France to Spain
- Living the dream life
- Still working on myself, there’s always room for improvement
- Made many new wonderful friends
- Joined a choir, stimulating the vagus nerve(something new I have never done before)
- Joined a dancing class and loving it ( a first for me)
- Try and swim in the sea at least once a week
- Looking forward to what 70 may bring
Still have many things I would like to achieve and hope I stay fit and well enough to do so.
So go ahead and write your list, and when your feeling like you just can’t take anymore take a look at how far you have come!!!!!!
Linda Turner – Counselor, Therapist & Coach – Qualifications
- Eye Movement Desensitisation And Reprocessing Therapy EMDR – CPD accreditation Certification
- Certified NLP Practitioner – CPD accreditation Certification
- Hypnotherapist – CPD accreditation Certification
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapist CBT – CPD accreditation Certification
- Cognitive Behavioral Hypnotherapy (CBH) – CPD accreditation Certification
- Life Coaching Diploma – CPD accreditation Certification
4 thoughts on “ABOUT”
Our current society expects parents to be perfect & kids unaccountable. Blame is more important than compassion, peace, or self-reflection. Not only that, but the parent who was abused gets judged, while the most unhealthy parent gets worshipped in Parental Alienation because of enmeshment.
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Everyone is on a unique journey but each eventually needs to find “peace of mind” with their circumstances. In the end, life is often unfair, however, the real test is whether you can “let go” and avoid the inevitable conflict that ensues where you can’t (which is what the alienator wants)
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Sounds wonderful. Just wondering what happened to your children through the years? You mention them in only one section.
Happy New Year to You Laura. My children lived with their father who would not allow me any access, phone calls or contact. If you read my True Stories http://parentalalienation-pas.com/true-stories/ it explains exactly what happened. Social services and the courts could not help my situation.