EMOTIONAL ABUSE Hostile Aggressive Parenting NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) Pathogenic Parenting PERSONALITY DISORDERS

Q & A – Narcissistic Abuse

How do narcissists abuse their children?

Narcissists can abuse their children in a variety of ways, including emotional, physical, and psychological abuse. They may belittle or criticize their children, use them as a source of narcissistic supply, or manipulate them to get what they want. They may also be neglectful, failing to provide their children with basic needs such as food, clothing, and emotional support. Narcissists may also use their children as a means of controlling their partner, or as a way to gain admiration from others.

What can a child of a narcissistic parent do?

1. Set boundaries. It is important to establish boundaries with a narcissistic parent and to stick to them. This will help protect you from their manipulation and emotional abuse.

2. Seek support. It is important to find a support system of people who understand what you are going through and can provide emotional support.

3. Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with a narcissistic parent.

Examples of narcissistic parenting

1. Failing to provide appropriate boundaries and discipline.

2. Excessive praise and admiration for the child’s accomplishments.

3. Excessive focus on the child’s physical appearance.

4. Excessive competition with the child.

5. Excessive criticism of the child’s mistakes.

6. Excessive demands for perfection.

7. Excessive need for control.

8. Excessive need for attention.

9. Excessive need


Narcissistic Parenting Sabotage Children

By definition sabotage is a “treacherous action.” Treachery when perpetrated upon a family member means destruction and annihilation. It is beyond ruthlessness.

Growing up in a narcissistic family is like being in the middle of a deadly fire fight twenty four hours a day. The child who survives these skirmishes and all out wars is truly remarkable. I hear and read life stories of those who found survival techniques. Many of them hide in their own shoes, spent time with friends to keep out of the war zone, slipped their minds away into books, video games, drawing, writing, other creative activities. Some children were fortunate to have a grandparent who would give them times of respite.

Some children who have this experience are in a constant state of anxiety–fight or flight syndrome. The narcissist–mother or father or both rule the household. Screams and demands–slaps and threats can be heard and experienced frequently in these homes. The narcissist lives for himself (herself) alone. Narcissists don’t love their children. They use them to prop up their egos if they perceive that a particular child can add to their perfect image. In this case the child is indulged. The rest of the kids are cast aside and neglected or treated abysmally. Some of these children find ingenious ways to save their sense of self, to conceal their creative gifts but continue to use them and to keep the inner fire of a sense of self burning brightly. I have known individuals who have been able to accomplish this despite all of the narcissistic pathology of their mother or father or both parents.

Adult children continue to heal through skilled psychotherapy and many forms of bringing the body/mind back into balance: gentle yoga, meditation, support groups, full use of your creativity. You can heal. You will heal. To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth, visit my