Brainwashing - Mind Control coercive control EMOTIONAL ABUSE Hostile Aggressive Parenting Psychological manipulation

Q & A Obsessed Alienator

What is an obsessed parental alienator?

An obsessed parental alienator is a person who attempts to disrupt or sever the relationship between a child and one of their parents, usually the non-custodial parent. This is done through a variety of tactics, such as making false allegations of abuse, manipulating the child to reject the other parent, and/or attempting to turn the child against the other parent.

Dealing with an obsessed alienator

If you are dealing with an obsessed alienator, it is important to remember that you are not alone. It is important to reach out to family, friends, and professionals for support. It is also important to document any interactions with the alienator, as this can be used as evidence in court if necessary. It is also important to set boundaries and be firm in enforcing them. If the alienator is not respecting your boundaries, it is important to seek legal advice

Examples of an obsessed alienator

1. The alienator who spends hours each day monitoring their target’s social media accounts and activities.

2. The alienator who constantly badmouths their target to anyone who will listen.

3. The alienator who goes out of their way to sabotage their target’s relationships with friends and family.

4. The alienator who relentlessly spreads rumors and lies about their target.

5. The alienator who refuses to allow their target to have any contact

Parental Alienation PA

Dealing with an obsessed alienator

Dealing with an obsessed alienator

The term obsessed alienator is a description of a pattern of behavior and is not a diagnosis.

Parents dealing with an obsessed alienator often feel at the end of their ropes with frustration, anger or rage, hurt, and may feel powerless.

Dealing with an obsessed alienator can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences you will have because you will feel powerless and it can last for years. What is most important is that you don’t add to the problem by getting caught up in the alienating cycle. Remember prevention is a must because reversing parental alienation syndrome is near impossible. Most courts don’t have an effective mechanism to handle these cases.


The most challenging type of parent is known as the obsessed alienator

As we discussed earlier, psychologists generally recognize three “classes” of alienators. The most challenging type of parent is known as the obsessed alienator. Typically, the parent views his or her quest in moral, absolute terms, invests tremendous energy into the manipulation of the child, recruits others (such as relatives, friends or even credulous therapists) into the crusade, often refuses to go along with court decisions and orders and remains entrenched in negative beliefs about the targeted parent, even after being presented with contrary evidence.

So what should you, as a targeted parent, do to neutralize the obsessed alienator’s behavior?

Dr. Douglas Darnell, a respected academic who’s studied this topic in depth, recommends the following strategies:

• Journal what happens in your relationships as much as possible. Save emails the parent sends you. Write down the details of any awkward conversations you have with him or her immediately after they occur, including time and date stamps. You might even want to journal or record what goes on in a typical visit when your child comes over. The more objective, concrete documentation you have, the better.

• Avoid retaliating against the obsessed parent. When you’re angry, frustrated, depressed or feeling lost, find a productive, safe outlet to vent those emotions. Do not send angry emails or leave mean messages. Talk to a therapist. Go to the gym. Scream into a pillow, if you have to let out the feelings. But avoid any tit-for-tat behavior.

• Avoid alienating the child in kind; stay positive and supportive. Along the lines of the previous point, you may find it quite tempting to “give as you get.” Resist that urge and be the bigger person.

• Consider seeking a court order mandating therapy to heal what’s happening with the family. Reversing the brainwashing can be a complicated, delicate task. Discuss how to handle this process with your family law attorney.

• Keep going to pick up your children at the appointed time. It can be painful and humiliating to be rejected by the child or for the other parent to show up late, if at all. But unless the court changes its order, stick by the plan, and document what happens. Unless you stand accused of abuse or neglect, in general, the other parent must cooperate and honor your parenting time. Keep compliant with court orders; ideally, you want the court to be sympathetic to you.

• Be on the alert for allies that the obsessed alienator might conscript. For instance, the other parent’s new boyfriend or girlfriend or his or her parents could participate and create extra pressures on your relationship with your child.

For skillful, experienced assistance handling your Parental Alienation case, call the Williams Law Group, LLC immediately at (908) 810-1083.