Brainwashing - Mind Control Coercive Control coercive control EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Q & A – Do parental alienators groom children?

Yes, parental alienators can groom children by manipulating and influencing them to view the other parent in a negative light, often with the intention of creating a false belief that the other parent is unsafe or unloving. This process can involve a range of tactics, including denigrating the other parent, using the child as a pawn in the conflict, and restricting the child’s contact with the other parent.

Grooming involves a process of conditioning, which can be subtle or overt, and can occur over time. This process can have a significant impact on the child’s belief system and can lead to the child rejecting the other parent, even if that parent has done nothing to deserve such treatment.

It is important to note that parental alienation and grooming are not the same as abuse, but they can have significant negative effects on the child’s emotional well-being and can impact their long-term relationship with both parents. If you suspect that a child is being groomed or manipulated by a parent, it is important to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional or child welfare agency to intervene and ensure the child’s safety and well-being.

©Linda Turner 2023

Grandparent alienation PARENTAL ALIENATION

Q & A – Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”

What is what is Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”?

Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation” is a term used to describe a situation in which one parent attempts to undermine the relationship between the other parent and their child. This can be done through a variety of tactics, such as badmouthing the other parent, limiting contact between the child and the other parent, or encouraging the child to reject the other parent.

What is the impact of Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”?

Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation” (ABPA) is a form of psychological abuse in which one parent attempts to undermine the relationship between the other parent and their child. This can be done through a variety of tactics, such as denigrating the other parent, manipulating the child into believing the other parent is bad, or even making false allegations of abuse. The impact of ABPA can be devastating for the child, as it can lead to feelings of guilt.

Examples of Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”

1. A parent who constantly speaks negatively about the other parent in front of the child.

2. A parent who refuses to allow the child to have contact with the other parent.

3. A parent who encourages the child to reject the other parent.

4. A parent who attempts to turn the child against the other parent by making false accusations.

5. A parent who attempts to control the child’s relationship with the other parent.

What is the treatment for Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation”?

The treatment for Attachment-Based “Parental Alienation” is typically a combination of individual and family therapy. The goal of treatment is to help the child re-establish a healthy relationship with the alienated parent, while also helping the family to heal and move forward. Treatment may include individual therapy for the child, family therapy, and/or parent-child reunification therapy. Treatment may also include education for the family about the dynamics of parental alienation and strategies for improving communication




There was a time I would have set myself on fire, to keep others warm.

There was a time I would have crossed oceans to reach people who wouldn’t cross a stream for me.

There was a time I would try, too hard, to be seen by those, who would simply never see me.

There was a time I felt myself unworthy of a person, who could actually never be worthy of me.

But not anymore.

You see my friend, there are many ways to spend your time on this earth

but wasting it on those who are not appreciative of your attention, is a crying shame.

Use your time wisely.

Save your best efforts for those who care.

For those who would return the favour or at least appreciate your attention.

Those who truly value you.

And the rest?

If they do not see you now, they never will.

And they are missing out.

Make this the time that you realise your time is precious and should only be bestowed on those who bring you comfort, positivity, support, love or joy.

Or all of the above.

Remember, you are the main act, not a warm up,

and this, my friend, is no dress rehearsal.

This is it.

The curtain is well and truly up.

Shine on.


Donna Ashworth

From ‘to the women- words to live by’

Malignant Narcissism Narcissism Narcopath PERSONALITY DISORDERS


The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask them which one they mean, they’ll deny ever saying the first one, though it may literally have been only seconds since they said it—really, how could you think they’d ever have said that? You need to have your head examined! They will contradict FACTS.

They will lie to you about things that you did together or about what opposing counsel and judges state. They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they’ll say you’re lying, making stuff up, or are crazy. (Ashmun, 2004)

Normal six-year-olds
amoral/conscienceless authoritarian
care only about appearances contemptuous, cruel
critical of others
disappointing gift-givers
don’t recognize own feelings envious and competitive
feel entitled
flirtatious or seductive grandiose
hard to have a good time with hate to live alone
hyper-sensitive to criticism
lack sense of humor
strange work habits unusual eating habits weird sense of time
Malignant Narcissism Narcissism Narcopath NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) PERSONALITY DISORDERS

Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

In his scholarly work Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Dr. Richard Warshak eloquently listed the areas like “corrupting reality,” which the NPA is especially renowned: “. . . To intervene effectively in a campaign of denigration, we must understand exactly how the child’s view of reality is being manipulated. Below is a summary of some of the most common strategies for distorting the child’s perceptions, beliefs, and memories of the target” (Warshak, 2001, pp. 202–203).

  • Manipulating names to disrupt children’s identification with the target
  • Repeating false ideas until: they are assumed to be true and are embedded in memory
  • Selectively directing the children’s attention to negative aspects of the target while ignoring positive aspects
    Dropping the context of a target’s behavior
    Exaggerating the target’s negative behaviour
  • Telling lies about the target
  • Revising history to erase positive memories of the target
    Claiming that the target has totally changed 
  • Suggestions that convey in a covert manner negative messages about the target
    Encouraging the children to exploit: the target
  • Projection of the brainwasher’s own thoughts, feelings, or behavior onto  the target
  • Rationalizations that hide the perpetrator’s real motives and make the target look bad
  • Self-righteous tones intended to ward off careful scrutiny of the program- mer’s reality distortions
    Denunciations cloaked in religious dogma
    Associating the label “the truth” with the programmer’s implanted scenarios
  • Overindulging the children with excessive privileges, material possessions, and low expectations for responsible behavior to buy their allegiance
  • Encroaching on the children’s time with the target and sabotaging their enjoyment of special activities
    Instructing children to keep secrets from, spy on, and lie to the target
    Conspiring with others to reinforce the programming
  • Programming the children to resist attempts to undo their indoctrination
Malignant Narcissism Narcissism Narcopath NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) PERSONALITY DISORDERS

The Art of War

As ruthless as Machiavelli’s and Tzu’s works appear to the faint of heart, the only way to uncover chicanery is to wait until there is enough evidence gathered to reveal revengeful motives without question, thus quashing any false and damaging allegations and actions with precision and articulation.

In severe parental alienation cases, the NPA (who may be the custodial parent) frequently outright refuses the target parent any access to in- formation or the child(ren). The purpose is twofold obviously to sever the parent child(ren) bond, while simultaneously stopping the target parent from gathering evidence of alienation and innocence of any false allegations. The child who is severely alienated can be prepped to sound very convincing to anyone who is not aware of the real evidence or what goes on behind the scenes


Tell Your Stories

You own everything that happened to you.

Tell your stories.

If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.

Linda – Always By Your Side


Overactivity in the amygdala

Over 8 million children under the age of 18 live with a parent who has a substance use disorder, according to research in Social Work in Public Health. When one or more parents abuse drugs or alcohol, it can lead to chaotic family life. Children of alcoholics or drug addicts may not have their basic needs met. The addicted parent may forget to pick up the kids from school, neglect to fix lunch or dinner, and skip important health checks. Unreliable and inconsistent parenting causes children to feel insecure and leads to issues with trust and pent-up anger that may linger for decades. 

Living in constant fear, being blamed for problems the parent creates and feeling ashamed impact the ability to form healthy relationships later on in life. Children of alcoholics are prone to develop overactivity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear center, and can contribute to mental health conditions, such as anxietypost-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and depression. And research in Drug and Alcohol Dependenceshows they are at heightened risk of developing substance use disorders.

Grandparent alienation PARENTAL ALIENATION

The difference between classical and operant conditioning


Ending the Cycle